and now, let us return to our regularly scheduled program of cynicism and despair. today's fun entry is brought to you by my friend Anne TC. her own website is www.weeklytrash.com and she's a shitload better at this web crap than me.
This shout-out goes to my fellow fag-hags. Keep the faith.
>> The Gay to Z of Popbitch <<
It's what Liberace would have wanted
A is for...
Ancient Greece
Men in Ancient Greece constantly bummed each other. Brides in Argos used to wear false beards on their wedding night, to help their husbands cope with
the shock of the new. (Hence the term "beard")
Auto-Bumming
Rabbits can auto-bum themselves, thanks to their curvy penises.
Anus
It's part skin, part intestine.
If you've never seen one, here are some photos:
http://www.pornopoly-inc.com/anus/
B is for...
Bears
Bears are big hairy gay men. There's a sauna in Sydney where every Wednesday they have a special bears afternoon.
The event is called "Gorillas in the Mist".
Bonobo monkeys
Randy male bonobos practice Penis-Fencing: two males hang face-to-face from a branch while rubbing their erect penises together. They also like standing back-to-back, with one male rubbing his scrotum against the buttocks of another. Freddie Mercury used to do this too.
http://www.hs.sugiyama-u.ac.jp/~ihobe/image/bonobo.jpg
BBC Cottage
The BBC TV centre houses a toilet which is secretly a gay cottaging destination. It's located
> in the basement under the TOTP Star Bar. Until
> recently, written on the back of one of the doors
> was, "Richard Blackwood sucks white men's
> willies - it's true!".
>
>
> ---------------------------------------------------
> C is for...
>
> Caligula
> When on campaign, Roman emperor Caligula issued
> rather gay passwords to get into his camp. One
> of them was "Touch me Titus".
>
> ChiPing
> The LA gay practice of getting dressed up as
> California Highway Patrol Officers, and cruising
> around on Harleys. It's most commonly practiced
> by Latino and Caucasian gay couples.
>
> Chimps
> Q: What do you call a gay ape?
> A: Chimp Pansy
>
> Candy Maker
> Man who, after wanking his partner, eats the
> ejaculated spunk.
>
>
> ---------------------------------------------------
> D is for...
>
> Dinge Queen
> Somewhat offensive word for a white gay man
> who likes black men
>
> Dolphins
> Limp-flippered male bottlenose dolphins pair off
> with other males during their youth, and never
> bond with a female, even after shagging her.
> Very Elton.
> http://www.nmfs.noaa.gov/employment/bottlenose_dolphin.jpg
>
> Duck Lane
> Soho street which sees much trannie trade action.
>
>
> ---------------------------------------------------
> E is for...
>
> Elephants
> Both sexes use their trunks for gay
> touching-up of other elephants.
> http://hcs.harvard.edu/~jerosenb/humor/gay_sheep
>
> Euro
> Q: Did you hear about the gay French butcher?
> A: He put his sausage up two francs..
>
> E! Channel
> Gay CNN.
>
> Edward II
> British King who was killed by a red-hot poker
> up the arse, as punishment for gayness.
>
>
> ---------------------------------------------------
> F is for...
>
> Fanfic
> Read gay fanfic about David Beckham supplying
> nifty balls to Michael Owen:
> http://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/celebrity/three-lions
> http://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/celebrity/on-top-of-the-world
>
> Freddie Mercury
> Q: What did Freddie Mercury and River Phoenix
> have in common?
> A: They both had some bad crack
>
>
> ---------------------------------------------------
> G is for...
>
> Glory hole
> An opening cut into the partition between two
> stalls in a men's toilet through which oral
> intercourse can be performed.
>
> Greg Louganis
> Olympic diver who was given the unkind nickname
> "Greg Loose-anus". Greg has just written a book
> about owning a dog.
> http://www.louganis.com/
>
> Gay Maths
> Straight man - girlfriend (+ cocaine + alcohol)
> = bi-curious man
>
>
> ---------------------------------------------------
> H is for...
>
> Hampstead Heath
> One night on Hampstead Heath, a famous gay 80s
> pop star was performing oral sex on a man wearing
> a motorcycle crash helmet. Suddenly the penis in
> his mouth went limp. Looking up to find out the
> problem, the star was shocked to see, behind the
> helmet, another, equally-famous, short-haired
> gay pop star.
> (The smalltown boy had become a victim of love...)
>
> Hi-nrg.
> Patrick Cowley was its most famous exponent,
> thanks to tracks like Menergy and Sylvester's Do
> You Want To Funk. Sadly he died of AIDS in 1982.
>
>
> ---------------------------------------------------
> I is for...
>
> Ian Levine
> We once tried to book hi-nrg legend Ian Levine
> for a Popbitch party. But we were told that
> we'd have to provide a young boy in tight
> white shorts to accompany him. So we didn't.
>
>
> ---------------------------------------------------
> J is for...
>
> Jack Macfarland
> Will and Grace actor Sean Hayes says "When I
> came out of my mom's womb, I had 'sitcom'
> stamped on my forehead."
>
> Jobriath
> Jobriath was the world's first openly gay popstar.
> Launched in 1973 he planned a show at Paris Opera
> House straddling a 40-foot. Sadly his albums
> flopped and he retired to the Chelsea Hotel,
> where he died of AIDS in 1983.
> See Jobriath:
> http://www.geocities.com/jobriath_2000/
>
> Jam
> To widen the opening of the anus with the tongue
> as preparation for intercourse.
>
>
> ---------------------------------------------------
> K is for...
>
> Kyle Bradford
> Erotic Wrestler who once claimed he had been
> Tom Cruise's lover. Famous for his "amazing
> 69 double cocklock" wrestling move.
> Some terrifying pictures of Kyle in action:
> http://www.bgeast.com/cat/AW91F3.html
>
> Killer Queen
> Gay man in the military.
>
> Philip Kirkirov
> 7ft tall Russian Ricky Martin/Michael Jackson
> hybrid, known for his outre Vegas-style stage
> shows, which he calls "Consumerism for the
> senses". Currently playing Billy Flynn in
> Chicago in Moscow.
> See a photo of Philip at Eurovision last year:
> (He's the one on the left)
> http://www.popbitch.com/kirkirov.JPG
>
> Kiwi Fruit
> Brazilian football star Ronaldo claimed David
> Beckham was a "kiwi fruit" for wearing his wife's
> thong. Kiwi fruit is slang for homosexual because
> "they are hairy on the outside, but fruity on the
> inside", a Brazilian writer explains.
>
>
> ---------------------------------------------------
> L is for...
>
> Liberace
> Always denied he was homosexual - he just loved
> his mother too much to get married. From 1977 57
> year-old Liberace's live-in lover was 18 year-old
> Scott Thorson, who wrote a tell-all entitled Behind
> The Candelabra, which included how he was forced
> to get plastic surgery to look more like "Lee".
> Photo:
> http://www.bobsliberace.com/frames1.html
>
> Limahl
> Limahl is the headline act for European Gay
> Ski Week in Austria this year.
> Limahl - in his 80s prime and now:
> http://www.limahl.co.uk/photog/cover_index.htm
> http://www.limahl.co.uk/photog/waddesdon/wad2.htm
>
> Liza and David
> Gayest wedding photo ever:
> http://theunderweardrawer.homestead.com/files/liza_minelli_wedding.jpg
>
> Lesbians
> Q: What do you call an Australian lesbian with
> one leg?
> A: "Gaylene"
>
>
> ---------------------------------------------------
> M is for...
>
> Maxximo
> Gay Italian popstar. His latest single is called
> "Tormento" and deals with the eternal struggle
> between homosexuality and faith. Over a rather
> cheap dance beat.
>
> Marc Almond
> During the mid-90s, Marc owned a popular gay bar.
> Some staff later claimed that satanic rituals took
> place there. One favourite was getting new staff
> members to masturbate onto a paper pyramid. Satan
> really likes that, apparently.
> (FYI: Marc's Brazilian cleaner confirms that he
> owns a collection of skulls)
>
>
> ---------------------------------------------------
> N is for...
>
> Northern Line
> Want to meet men on the tube? Apparently the
> last carriage on any Northern Line train is
> a mobile cottage.
>
> Neutered Pitbulls
> In the US there is a trend for urban gay
> professionals to buy pitbulls, who are then
> neutered and and made fat and docile through
> over-feeding. Like Elton.
>
>
> ---------------------------------------------------
> O is for...
>
> Otter
> In gayland an otter is a thin bear. Some bears
> have little or no fur on their chests, arms,
> back, butt, etc. So they are called "otters".
>
> Overcultured
> Someone who is excessively gay.
>
>
> ---------------------------------------------------
> P is for...
>
> Parlez-Vous Gay?
> In Welsh language: homosexual = gwrywgydiwr
>
> Polari
> Gay language, which largely died out in the 60s
> when people started to need it less.
> A few words like 'bona' are still used, and there
> are still hairdressers in London and Brighton
> called "Bona Riah".(good hair)
> More examples:
> naff - unattractive ("Not Available For Fucking)
> plate - to fellate
> omi-polone - effeminate man, or homosexual
> Alamo! - I'm hot for you! ( from LMO - lick me out)
> http://www.homeusers.prestel.co.uk/cello/Polari.htm
>
> Penguins
> New York Aquarium at Coney Island has a gay
> penguin couple, Wendell and Cass, 15-year-old
> African black footed penguins, who are devoted
> to each other. Like most gays, they are currently
> in dispute with another couple over their nest.
>
> Prawn
> Bitchy term for a man with a nice body but an
> unattractive head.
>
> Ponce
> One of Argentina's most famous football commentators
> is called Bambino Ponce.
>
>
> ---------------------------------------------------
> Q is for...
>
> Quiff
> Slang for a gay man who will pay to suck cock
> (eg "Greg is short of money; he's out looking
> for quiff".)
>
> Queerdonna
> Greg Gostanian was a 600-pound Madonna fan
> who called himself "Queerdonna", and spent
> 12 years squeezing into cone-shaped bras to
> perform as "Queerdonna". He died in New York
> in 2000, and was buried with a shirt Madonna
> autographed with the phrase, "Keep telling
> people you slept with me."
>
> Queer Beet
> Disco music in Hamburg is known as "Queer Beet"
>
>
> ---------------------------------------------------
> R is for...
>
> Roman Empire
> Roman men often shoved mullets (the fish, not
> the hairstyle) up each others arses. The scales
> meant that they slipped in easily. Removal was
> more problematic.
>
> Rent Boy Roulette
> When a legendary gay British pop star is
> staying in New York he likes to keep four or
> five extra rooms at the St Regis Hotel with a
> rent boy in each one. The boys just stay there,
> ordering room service, waiting to see if there
> will be a knock on the door from Mr Pop Star...
>
> Regina Fong
> London drag cabaret star who died of cancer this
> month. Described as part Margaret Thatcher, part
> Ken Dodd. Claimed to be Her Imperial Highness The
> Grand Duchess Regina Fong, Last Of The Romanoffs.
> Famous for the sketch Skippy The Butch Kangaroo.
>
> Regents Park Bi
> Megastar singer who surfs chat rooms using
> this pseudonym, and wears a balaclava when
> meeting his chat-room friends. And has just
> put his Regents Park house up for sale.
>
>
> ---------------------------------------------------
> S is for...
>
> Screamers
> Years ago, gay actors in Hollywood used to go
> out to the mountains just outside LA to scream
> as loud as they could - thus roughening their
> vocal cords and making their voices lower and
> more butch. (hence the term "screamer".)
> So... which modern day king of pop has been
> following this ancient practice?
>
> Sex change
> See how they turn man penis into lady parts:
> http://www.bizarremag.com/members/sexchange.html#photos
>
> Sheep
> Some bored scientists did a study into gay sheep.
> They reckon eight percent of males are gay.
> http://hcs.harvard.edu/~jerosenb/humor/gay_sheep
>
> Siegried and Roy
> They live on a Las Vegas compound called The
> Jungle Palace. It includes a cappuccino bar, with
> a Sistine Chapel replica ceiling. They also have
> a set of gold candelabras, given to them by
> Liberace. Their white lions and tigers roam freely
> around the house. Obviously, they're not gay. Oh no.
> For a tour:
> http://www.siegfriedandroy.com/biography/palace_show.php
>
> Santana
> Carlos Santana, who claims to receive guidance
> from a God-like being called Meteron, revealed
> a couple of years ago that he was sexually
> abused forty years ago - "by a gay cowboy".
>
> SumofSam
> Gaydar name of famous British fashion designer.
>
>
> ---------------------------------------------------
> T is for...
>
> Troughman
> Infamous star of Sydney's Mardi Gras, who likes
> to roll in a trough and ask people to piss
> in his mouth
>
> Threesomes
> See amusing photos of animals having three-way sex
> http://www.zoofur.com/gayanimals.html
>
> Bobby Trendy
> "I like to get fucked everyday," says Anna-Nicole's
> interior designer. "I don't care who does it. They
> can be in a wheelchair or a stroller - I don't care.
> I don't even bother to look over my shoulder and see
> who is doing it. I wouldn't want to strain my neck."
>
> Texas
> Texas has just won a Senate vote to outlaw
> same-sex marriages. Spoilsports.
>
> Teacher
> A schoolboy comes home from school and says to
> his father, "I had sex with my teacher today."
> Dad: "Good on you son, chip off the
> old block. Are you going to do it again?"
> Little boy: "Yes, when my bum's better".
>
>
> ---------------------------------------------------
> U is for...
>
> Uranus
> The seventh planet. German homosexuals describe
> themselves as Uranians.
>
> Ussypay:
> Prison term for an inmate's arse that is open
> for sexual consideration.
>
>
> ---------------------------------------------------
> V is for...
>
> Victorian
> There is a private gay club in south east London
> which stages Victorian costume sex parties. To get
> through the door, the password is: 'Is the Queen
> at Buckingham Palace?'
>
> Vampire run
> Going out looking for sex in the very early hours
> of the morning.
>
>
> ---------------------------------------------------
> W is for...
>
> Waterfall of Life
> A certain Latin star's practice of wanking off
> balconies with a young friend.
>
> Websites
> The top ten gayest websites:
> http://www.100free.com/t/top10gayestwebsites/
>
> Mr Winkle.
> The world's gayest dog.
> http://www.mrwinkle.com/index1.htm
>
>
> ---------------------------------------------------
> X is for...
>
> Xanadu
> The gayest film ever? Come on - it's a neon-lit
> disco musical featuring rollerskating, and
> stars Olivia Newton John and Gene Kelly.
>
>
> ---------------------------------------------------
> Y is for...
>
> Yum Yum
> 19th century slang for a penis.
>
>
> ---------------------------------------------------
> Z is for...
>
> Zoo Queen
> A gay man who fancies animals
>
> Zzzzzzzzz
> All this gayness has put us to sleep
>